Once we were talking to a group of our married friends and one of them asked all the other "newlyweds" to describe their marriage in three words. Even though our marriage experiences were all less than a year long, all the people shared very interesting words and descriptions.
I liked this idea a lot, so for Matthew's birthday (May 29th), I decided to post this blog: three words that I would use to describe a happy marriage. This post is dedicated to my husband because without him I wouldn't have any of those words, wouldn't have this love, or such a happy marriage!
*Disclaimer - we've only been married for 10 months so I'm not calling myself a professional; I'm simply sharing my observations and useful information that I've read or heard from different sources.
Faithfulness
When a Christian marriage is built, a big emphasis is put on faithfulness. Husbands and wives are supposed to stay together and love each other "till death do them part". Being in a happy, faithful marriage means that you can put your full trust in your partner. Trust means that you know that they do love you more than anyone else, and they do think that you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Trust means that you trust them with your money, your plans, and your future. Trust means that you can open your heart to someone without being judged or hurt.
It's not always easy to put your faith in someone, and when your trust is broken it's not easy to restore. But if you build your relationship on it, it will stand firm and will only strengthen and deepen with time. It's very important to not only expect the other person to be faithful and trustworthy but to become such a person yourself. This means keeping your promises, taking responsibility for your words and actions, keeping secrets, and accepting the person the way they are!
Friendship
Here in America I often hear the phrase "I'm married to my best friend" and I love it. Marriage is not simply a partnership and not simply emotions. I think marriage should also be based on friendship. When you're not only following the same goals, not only bringing up children and living in the same house, not only hugging and kissing but also living life together and enjoying it.
If your husband (or wife) is your best friend it's him who you want to share your happy moments with, and it's him who you will trust with your lowest ones. With a best friend you are never bored and the silence is never awkward. Only with your best friend you can share your deepest secrets and inner thoughts. Only your best friend is ready to stand up for you and pray for you. The joys and sorrows of your best friend become your joys and sorrows.
Communication
A very important characteristic of friendship is communication. In a family, in a friendship, in any kind of relationship talking is crucial. With the help of this tool, you can communicate your needs and desires, your problems, and your questions to your partner. Thanks to communication you can solve many conflicts, sometimes even before they start. And thanks to communication you can become best friends in a very short time and learn more about the other person. Moreover, the information that you receive from communication can be used to help you grow! Both as a person and as a family.
Fun
If I would talk about my own marriage, I would totally say that we have fun together all the time. And I can't stress enough how important it is! A good family doesn't seek fun and satisfaction somewhere else, good partners enjoy each other's company. Fun means being joyful and thankful for the little things, fun means being able to laugh together. I'm sure that it strengthens your relationship.
Moreover, a sense of humor can help you get through embarrassing situations, stressful moments, and conflicts. If you can laugh at yourself and change things into jokes (meaning not taking them to the heart but laughing about them), you can avoid many unnecessary problems and stresses.
Bride of Christ
When I was thinking about marriage and family relationships I remembered that they are often compared to the relationship between people and God. The Bible refers to the church (meaning you and I) as the bride of Christ, so why can't we apply the same principles to Christianity?
Faithfulness
We all know that God is the one who is faithful - if you don't, there are plenty of verses throughout the whole Bible that prove this idea. Faithfulness is one of the attributes of God, who never changes, keeps His promises, can be trusted in, and will love us forever. We can put our full faith and hope in the Lord, and "it will not put us to shame" (Rom. 5:5).
What about people though? Can we be faithful in our relationship with God? Yes, and this concept is mentioned in the Bible multiple times as well. Remember the parable of the talents? This is how it ends: "His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’" (Matt. 25:21). In the same way, as this servant was faithful in whatever was trusted into his hands, we can be faithful in our lives and actions. This is the only way that would lead us into the joy of our Master!
Friendship
Jesus once said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you" (John 15:14). It is a great honor to be called the friends of God because it shows the intimacy and the simplicity of our relationship with Him. We can trust Jesus with everything that is precious to us the same way we trust our friends, and we can always count on Him.
He only gives us one condition in this verse: we need to do what He commands us and live the way He taught us. It's hard to be someone's friend having completely different worldviews, and it's impossible to be Jesus' friend while rejecting His teaching. What is wonderful is that "His yoke is easy" (Matt. 11:30), and He will always strengthen us and encourage us to follow His lead.
We also need to remember that as human friendship grows through communication, the same way our relationship with Christ has to be based on real communication with Him. This doesn't necessarily mean performing religious activities (which is not a bad thing by itself), but rather sincere prayers as talking to God, studying the Scriptures as His letter to humanity, and worshiping in His presence.
Fun
Not the most Christian word, huh? Even though being a Christian is a lot of fun (contrary to what other people might think), in this paragraph I want to concentrate on a different word which is joy. Someone said that it's mentioned in the Bible 365 times - one time for each day of the year. I did not count but I did find a lot of verses about it in the Bible which means that God wants to put a lot of emphasis on it. He also mentions it in the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22) which means we all are called to have joy in our hearts.
The more we live the more we see that Christian life is not all easy and happy, but even trials and sorrows can not take the joy that Jesus promised us. He said: "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full" (John 15:9,11). Our greatest joy is to abide in Father's love, to know about our salvation through Jesus, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Love of Christ
I think it's pretty obvious that in an earthly marriage a husband and a wife are equal, you can not compare Christ and the Church the same way. Jesus is the ultimate example of perfect love, joy, faithfulness, and holiness. We as people will never be able to meet such a high standard here on earth.
But the good news is that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8), and in that God showed His love for us. He accepts us the way we are, sanctifying us with His presence and grace. All that is left for us to do is to love Him with all our hearts and to strive to be like Him so that in eternity this pursuit reaches perfection and we are able to enter the joy of our Master!
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