This week for the first time I went to a ski resort, tried skiing for the first time, and I think for the first time I experienced so much stress because of something physical. The reality didn’t exactly match my expectations. For the last few days, I’ve been analyzing the situation, trying to understand what I did wrong and what I can learn from this story.
This blog is more entertaining than edifying, and also very personal. But I think you can find something useful here. Let’s take a look at my mistakes now!
Mistake #1: Negative Attitude
Our friends invited us to a ski resort for a few days at the end of winter. This is a pretty big thing for us so we’ve been preparing for this trip for the last few weeks. I mean, my husband is doing most of the preparation. He researched different options of skiing gear, ordered clothes and equipment, planned a trip for me to learn, and many other things. I was smiling to myself most of the time thinking that it’s no big deal and he shouldn't make so much fuss about it. Yeah, and also picking the colors of the coat and helmet to be the cutest skier out there.
This time we went skiing so that I could learn how to use the skis and be ready for the long trip and the bigger mountain. A few days before the trip I watched a few videos “skiing for beginners” and realized that it’s not that simple and even a little scary. This made me nervous because I’m not a fan of any extreme activities!
While my emotions and moderate anxiety are pretty common, my attitude towards the situation was my mistake. Every time I was asked if I’m looking forward to this trip, I answered that I’m scared, nervous, and doubting if I should even go there. This is how I convinced my brain that it has to be afraid. Did I expect any other reaction from it?
I could easily avoid this situation if I had the right attitude from the very beginning. To the same questions, I could have given a very different answer: "Honestly, it seems kinda scary but I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle". Program my brain for success!*
*I know this looks like a slogan from some super-successful seminar, but I'm not saying that success 100% depends on your positive affirmations. I'm simply trying to say that you can set the right attitude and expectations to make your life easier :)
Mistake #2: Unnecessary Rush
Being a first-time skier I obviously started my training from the bunny hill. I tried to go down, stop, turn, felt like a real skier for the first time. After I went down two times my husband decided that I was ready to conquer the mountaintop and we went to the lift.
The truth is, my husband was only partially right. Technically I could go down the mountain (which I did without falling), but mentally I was not ready for this. I have to say that the hill was in the slow zone, marked green, and perfect for beginners. I went down that route quickly and loudly - and concluded that it was a bad decision. I was super scared, it felt like I was going hundreds of miles an hour, and I couldn't stop or slow down. My wrong attitude didn't treat me well and I did not like it.
We have to understand that all people think differently, we all have different habits and worldviews. It can be clearly seen in a family when a man and a woman come together. In such a case a man would want to try his best, challenge himself, and learn on the go. A woman, on the other hand, has a stronger self-preservation instinct. That's why after that slide I went back to the bunny hill and practiced again to be more confident on bigger hills.
Mistake #3: Letting the Fear Take Control
After some time of slow learning and practicing, I felt bold enough to go to the big hill voluntarily. There I continued my experimenting. After a few different routes, falls, tears, lost skis and poles, we noticed a pattern. Every time I faced a steeper hill, I started panicking, I was gripped by fear, and I was flying down, not being able to stop or even slow down.
Later at home, I read a bunch of articles, talked to different people, and came to the conclusion that it's very common to have fear and anxiety during skiing. The question is, how you're going to react. My reaction was completely wrong. Based on my negative experience and lack of confidence, every time I saw a bigger hill I said, "a-a-ah, no, I'm not going, I can't!" I literally gave fear control over my mind and it paralyzed me, not letting me grow.
When I shared my feelings with my brother-in-law, he told me that even though he's a way better skier, he also gets scared. His way of solving the problem was praying before going down a scary path. As soon as I heard that I realized that this thought didn't even occur to me, even though it used to be my first reaction to everything. I think this is the way the devil wants to deceive us. He wasn't us to be so afraid that there would be no space for God's peace and calmness in our hearts. This is wrong, we need to see it and fight it.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" 2 Tim 1:7
How to Fight Your Fears
First of all, seeing the problem is part of the victory. You will never be able to cope with danger or deception if you don't know about it. When I realized that my problem is not in my skills or physical abilities, but in my head, I started getting over them.
Every time before I went downhill, I prayed for courage, and when I faced scary hills, I was telling myself (out loud) that I can do it, I won't fall, and it's not even that scary. I don't know, maybe it sounded weird, but this is what helped me overcome my panic.
Our words (said out loud) change a lot in our minds, our bodies, and our spiritual world. If you're scared, anxious, stressed, or going through something else, conquer these emotions "by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of your testimony" (Rev 12:11). Read the Bible out loud, sing worship songs, face the enemy, and fight it. I believe this is what will lead you to victory.
Mistake #4: Following the Crowd
Thankfully, I didn't make this mistake, even though I did think about it. Closer to the end of our trip, a few friends joined our small party, and they were pretty good at snowboarding. I was a little more confident by that time but still didn't have enough courage to face most of the hills there. Even though all this time my husband and his brother spent in the green zone with me, they were obviously bored there. A few times I had to make a choice to either go with everybody on the bigger hills or go alone on the ones that I can handle.
Both times that I went alone I ended up going somewhere that I didn't plan, but I still did it. Other times we compromised and friends went with me. It's just that in this blog I want to point out that we know our skills and abilities better than anyone else, so we shouldn't follow the crowd in doing something that might be dangerous.
Mistake #5: Comfort Zone
This mistake could have been the biggest mistake I made on this trip but I carefully avoided it. At the very beginning, we came to the mountain wearing heavy gear, uncomfortable boots that made my legs hurt, skis that were completely unfamiliar to me at that point, and I realized that I'm far out of my comfort zone.
For all the time we've been there, I had the idea to quit so many times, to go back to the car, drive home and drink tea, curling under a blanket and watching the fire. But I still turned back, went to the lift, and fought this idea over and over again. Why, you would ask? In my case, it was probably my stubbornness and a habit to become successful in everything I do.
In general, it's important to leave your comfort zone once in a while to grow, develop, learn. Sometimes from your mistakes, falls, and tears. But you know what they say, the person who never fell, didn't achieve anything. I could probably live a full happy life never even seeing skis in my life. But this means that this post wouldn't exist, I wouldn't learn all these lessons, I wouldn't rejoice at conquering myself like this. I also think that the best is yet to come!
Correcting My Mistakes
After this whole adventure, I came home and desperately wanted to forget it all like a bad dream. I wanted to go back to my comfort zone and never leave it again. But one time after another I went over it in my head to analyze it, find my mistakes, and come up with ways to fix them. For the last few days I've been changing my mindset about skiing, so that next week's trip would have a different outcome. Change my attitude, get rid of fear, and work on my confidence. A few days ago I saw kids sledding and realized that I wish I had my skis with me!
I'm far from a professional skier and it may seem like this activity is not my piece of cake. But I'm not leaving without a fight and will definitely go there again to prove to myself that I can do it. This time I will have the right attitude, this time I'll be slowly learning and enjoying myself in the process because I heard that people go skiing not just to overcome themselves but also to enjoy it. This is my goal now!
Postscriptum
It may seem that all of this is pointless, and all these mistakes and emotions just prove that I shouldn't be skiing in the first place. I honestly felt this way too, but then I realized that after the first date with my future husband I decided that I don't want to get married to him. Now I have a very different point of view and I want to believe that the same thing can happen to my idea of skiing!
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