The older I get, the more often I ask myself: what's my calling? I've participated in many ministries but what path (generally) did God choose for me? Even though a calling is more complex than "you'll be an evangelist (pastor/Sunday School teacher/surgeon) for the rest of your life", most of us still seek an answer.
Not too long ago a book and meditation over the Scriptures led me to think that my first and foremost calling is my family. A spoiler - it doesn't only concern me!
Calling to a Family
I think you've also heard in church that a wife is supposed to serve her husband. Even in the modern world, the accent is shifted to women's self-realization. But if you think about it, a calling to serve their family is not for wives only.
In his letter to Timothy Paul once wrote an interesting thought:
Those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers (1 Tim. 5:8, NLT)
In fact, he's saying that a person, who does not care (doesn't serve) about their family is worse than an unbeliever or someone who denied their faith! Some translations say 'provide' instead of 'care' but I like this one better. How can we talk about serving the church if we don't serve our relatives and especially the ones that we live with?
Thinking about it, I came up with many examples and spheres of how we can care about our families (that are relevant for any kind of family, honestly).
Children and Parents
From the very beginning, my parents taught me that it's important to help my parents with chores, take care of my siblings, and simply be obedient. When you're six or even twelve, it's not likely that someone will invite you to speak at the conference or let you sing in a worship team. However, the way we treat our family members is important to God. Even when we grow up, our reverence for parents stays relevant.
Family teaches us submission - first to parents, then to our husband and God. In a family, with our siblings, we experience interpersonal relationships - "the golden rule", conflictology, love as a decision, and much more. In a family, we can practice everything that the Bible teaches us. And I believe that all of it is important to God and that the principle of "you have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much" (Matt. 25:21) is working. Ministry starts with family.
Husbands and Wives
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22) is one of the most quoted verses at weddings and I think one of the questionable ones for feminists. However, this command stays true and disrespect toward your husband means disrespect toward God.
Lately, I've been reading a book called Created To Be His Help Meet, which vividly describes women's role in a family (regardless of its radicality). I started noticing my faults in everyday things. The way I treat my husband and serve him is one of the bases of my marriage. So if I want it to be blessed I need to learn how to humble myself and be his joyful helper!
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25). The Bible doesn't leave husbands without a command. And even though submission and love are two different things, biblical love is expressed through serving! In a marriage where the husband loves his wife, the wife will joyfully submit to Him, and God's name will be glorified.
Parents and Children
Even though I'm not familiar with the pitfalls of parenting yet, I can certainly say that no kids would survive if their parents didn't serve them. Everything that a child has from the very beginning is given to him by his parents. This is why it's so important that Christian parents served their children not only by fulfilling their physical needs but also by nurturing a seed of faith in them from their childhood.
"the woman... will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control" (1 Tim. 2:15).
This verse beautifully explains the purpose of motherhood: a godly woman supports her salvation with action through bringing her children up in faith, love, holiness, and self-control.
Family and Church
Those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith (1 Tim. 5:8)
Different translations talk about different ideas of relatives here - either they're blood relatives or church family - but the idea is clear: our ministry and our care should be directed to both our families and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Many commandments recorded in the Bible regarding love, humility, forgiveness, and serving each other are relevant in our church family and beyond its walls.
"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35)
My calling starts in a small circle: my family, my church, my friend group - among people who are close to me. If I can love and serve them, God will give me opportunities and resources to serve those who are harder to reach. But if my family is a mess, if my parents and relatives don't see God's love in me, I don't want to go and spread the wrong teaching. I will run to Christ and ask Him to change my heart so that every person could see His reflection in my life.
Bonus links:
One of our wonderful wedding photographers - Oleg Zaitsev
A song (written and recorded by my aunt) about family that is stuck in my head - "В семье"
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