Tomorrow is going to be nine months since we got married. On those days, I like to remember how it all started. About three years ago, we started talking, and my husband already knew that he was going to marry me. I, on the other hand, wasn't even sure if I loved him or not! I remember that I always expected love to feel differently.
During the next few months of talking, I asked God many questions (you know, "is he the one?" type thing). At some point, I realized that God was not planning to answer, so I had to do something about it. I knew I could not start a relationship with a person if I wasn't sure that I'm going to keep it. Then I remembered how people often say that "love is a choice." So I gathered up all of my courage and told myself, "if love is a choice, I choose to love him."
Surprisingly, this is exactly what happened! The more we talked after that, the more I realized that I loved this man very much. The feelings that I expected finally came, and they were even stronger and better than I imagined. Now, after months of this relationship, I don't have the slightest doubt that I made the right choice. But all of this was based on a weighted decision rather than fleeting feelings.
Daily Choices
If you think about it, you make decisions every day. Whether it's a minor choice (like what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to work), or some major decision (like who to marry or what school to go to). Moreover, we always have to make some moral and ethical choices. For example, you have to decide how you act in a specific situation, how you react to some action, or even what direction you choose for your thoughts.
I think you can remember many times when you had to make such a decision or even when you made the wrong choice. All of us have situations we would like to forget or words we want to take back. All this reminds us of the importance of such decisions for our mental and spiritual health and how vital it is to have a good basis for them.
Lately, I've noticed that I often face choices of how to act in a certain situation. Should I be offended, or should I love? Should I ask for the attention that I think I deserve, or should I humble myself for the sake of someone else? We often face such choices in our families (whether it concerns our spouses or our parents), but they can also come up in any relationship.
I also realized that no matter how I phrase it, the right choice is always clear if you base it on the Bible (you probably noticed it too). Try to find where in the Bible Jesus taught us to love ourselves more than our neighbor, to not forgive our brothers, or to please ourselves rather than serve others. I will save you some time: there's nothing like this in the Scriptures. The teaching of Jesus is the opposite.
Here I could quote many Bible verses from the gospels and other books of the New Testament. I'm sure you've heard them multiple times already.
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:43-44)
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them" (Matt. 7:12)
"And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 22:37-39)
I think Apostle Paul summed it all up nicely in his letter to Philippians:
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:3-5)
This means that every time I face a moral decision, I think of what Jesus would tell me to do. And then I do it - apologize, love, humble myself, and count others more significant than myself. This is what I should do all the time if I want to be called by His name!
Jesus' Choice
Why did I choose the Bible as the basis for my decisions? Why do I try to be like Jesus in my everyday choices? There are so many psychological books and guides, tons of courses, and webinars that would teach me how to create boundaries, make people treat me well, and love and accept myself. On what did I base my choice?
It's all because once in Gethsemane, my Teacher also faced a choice. Severe torture was awaiting him that night, and it was supposed to end in a painful and humiliating death. He knew all about it. And He was aware of everything He had to go through and how it would make Him feel.
He also had the power to stop all of this in a blink of an eye. When His disciples tried to defend Him, He said, "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?" (Matt. 26:53). One single word and He would be released, and justice would be restored. He could refuse.
But Jesus made His choice. He "humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Phil. 2:8). He didn't do it for His sake, He did it for you. And for every person on this earth. Jesus sacrificed Himself (quite literally) to give all people life and salvation that they didn't deserve. This is why I want to be like Jesus, thanks to Whom I can live, breathe, and have a future.
And the reason for this is love.
To sum it all up,
"Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Eph. 5:2)
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