I think it's no secret that if you treat yourself right it makes it easier to treat other people the same way and build healthy relationships. But too many people now have a problem of low self-esteem (though, some know about it and try to work on it). I gathered a few ideas from different sources (mainly it was @365_respect) to share some advice with you on how to learn to love yourself.
Do not compare!
It's totally okay to look, admire, take someone as an example, but it's a bad idea to humiliate yourself in comparison to somebody else. Often we make the mistake of setting our weaknesses and someone's strengths side by side. So it comes as no surprise that we lose this unequal battle.
Don't put yourself down
Works like an addition to the previous point. If you keep saying "I'm so fat", "I'm so ugly" and "I'm worthless", you will never be able to convince yourself otherwise. Moreover, you will let other people think that it's true, even subconsciously. Who will respect you if you don't respect yourself?
Concentrate on your strength
You can start loving and respecting yourself from the little things. But if you take your time and make a list of all the great things about you, you will realize that you're even better than you thought you are! Is there anything that you like about your looks? What about your character? Is there anything that you're good at? Try to write down at least 30 things, ask your friends and family to add something to this list and you will realize how wonderful you are. Focus on your assets, develop your talents and love yourself!
Work on your weaknesses
For all the things that you didn't include in the list of your strengths, you need to define if you could do anything about them. If the answer is yes - do that! You can always straighten crooked teeth, fix your posture, get rid of jealousy, work on your math skills, etc. When you will see positive changes in yourself you will love these things about yourself even more than if you had them to begin with! I can guarantee that.
Be wise in changing yourself
When working on your weaknesses you have to be wise. Find the necessary information about the sphere that you're working on. Don't go on hunger strikes to get rid of "extra" pounds - rather study your body, doctor's recommendations, read up on proper nutrition and fitness. Don't cover your pimples with fat layers of concealer - go to a doctor, cure your skin, learn how to use makeup. These changes will require time and effort but the result will be totally worth it.
Accept whatever you can't change
Some features are given to us from birth and will stay with us till death: such as facial features, hair structure, inborn abilities (and disabilities), some character traits. If your weakness is out of your control, you have to understand that God never designed it as a flaw! he didn't make any mistakes while creating you, He just put a cherry on top (or maybe you're a whole cherry pie!) and you should love it the way your Creator loves you.
My favorite Bible verse about it is written in Psalm 139:13
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.” Ps. 139:13
When I wasn't even born to this world, God created every little part of my body, every trait of my character. If I consider myself worthless this means I don't respect His creation, therefore I don't respect God - the Creater of the Universe. And I do not have a right to do so!
Oh, and one more thing: self-love always starts with yourself. Yes, husbands/boyfriends/parents and other people can show love to you and this can help you love yourself. But you can't just sit all your life and wait for a knight in shining armor that will come and love you so that you can love yourself as well. It's the opposite! If you have good self-esteem, if you respect yourself, your opinion, and your boundaries, then people will want to be with you, they will start to respect you and value you. And you don't have to be married or even dating! Start with yourself and you will be able to help someone else. And your relationship with others and with God will be healthy and blessed.
Comments