Some time ago, I was praying, and I asked God to make my heart... what? I needed an expressive word that would embrace many things that I lack. Very soon, I completed the sentence: "give me a loving heart." Love is the deepest Christian concept (and God's quality), there is a lot written about it in the Bible.
What is a loving heart? I looked for the most obvious answers in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
I once heard that you could read this text putting your name instead of the word "love." You will immediately see how much you need to grow to have real love in your heart!
I decided to study these verses to understand what I should work on. I suggest you do the same thing and come up with ways to apply these truths to your life. Think of something practical and achievable.
Love is patient
We could use patience when someone in our family or our surroundings (like a child or maybe our husband) doesn't understand or listen no matter how many times we tell them something. Be patient and keep building your relationship with love!
Love is kind
There is a lot of ways to apply the idea of kindness. For some reason, I thought about the way we react to other people's mistakes. A kind and loving heart won't judge or get annoyed but rather correct and guide in a loving way.
Love does not envy
There is a very thin line between a desire to have the same thing as someone and envy. This line is the state of our hearts. A desire to have something motivates you to get this (makes you, buy it, or achieve it). Envy, on the other hand, makes us feel resentful, upset and makes us treat the person poorly.
Love does not boast
Have you ever noticed that we sometimes boast about things that we can't take all the credit for? For example, "I have a good salary because I'm such a good worker", or "my kids are so nice because I'm an amazing mother", etc. There's no doubt that our efforts bring some fruit but we shouldn't forget the One in whom "we live and move and have our being". Where would you be if it wasn't for Jesus?
Love is not arrogant
If you think about it, we've all been in situations when we looked down on people. You could say that we were being objective since we're actually better at some things than other people. But who are we to judge? We need to learn to see all people as equal because to God we're all the same: sinners, desperately needing His grace.
Love is not rude
We rarely think of ourselves as rude because more or less we have all learned how we should behave in society. We also know pretty well how we should behave in the church so that people would see us as nice Christians. But think about this, do you keep acting like this when you come home, to your family? Are you as patient, kind, and nice to your closest people?
Love does not insist on its own way
I think this part talks about manipulation, though it's hard for me to come up with a good interpretation. I'm also convinced that in a family (and in society in general) people should serve each other and "count others more significant than ourselves". It's important to apply this to your life, not to your neighbor's life. Serve, rather than expect to be served; insist on someone else's interests, and not only your own way.
Love is not irritable
What about you? I am very irritable, for example, and this is my big problem. A mature person (with a loving heart) knows how to control their emotions. To do that you should apply all the other qualities discussed here: patience, humility, kindness, and cover it all with love. As for me, I'm learning to not be irritated when someone's opinion is different from mine!
Love is not resentful
What is resentment anyway? Google tells me the definition is "a feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly". Oh, how much we love being treated fairly! We always want justice to rule in our lives! But if we think about it, the mercy of God is the opposite of justice, and yet He offers it to us anyway. Rather than being just, learn to be kind; rather than being resentful, learn to be thankful.
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing
I think wrongdoing means sin, which tells us that love and sin can not go together. A person living in sin and enjoying it can not be loving. If you think that your sin is "not that bad" and "you're still a good person", there's a very big chance that you are wrong. You need Jesus to change your heart, only then can it be filled with His love.
Love rejoices in the truth
This could be the opposite of rejoicing at wrongdoing. When you walk in the truth, you can also live in love and joy - real joy, not fake pleasures of this world.
As for me, I also thought of one example in my life. Once I was listening to a preacher who mentioned his incredible revelations that turned out to be basic bible truths. At first, I judged him in my heart but then I realized that he was preaching the truth. I should be happy that in this church the Word of God is preached. I am not supposed to judge and be arrogant, I need to rejoice in the truth with the preacher.
Love bears all things
I think this is related to what I already mentioned about accepting other mistakes and different opinions. No one is perfect, and we all have our weaknesses and misunderstandings. All this shouldn't stand in the way of true love, especially in a church or in a family. Sometimes we literally need to carry each other on our shoulders.
Love believes all things
This part was difficult for me to understand, as in the world a person who believes everybody is considered naive, which is not a positive quality. But this exact quality is used to describe true love in the Bible. A loving person will not expect another to have the worst motives and actions. Love believes all things and trusts people.
Love hopes all things
In fact, this is optimism! Love always hopes for the best, for a positive outcome. Hope is one of the core Christian concepts (as well as faith). We believe and hope that after death a better life awaits us. The Bible also says, "the eye of the Lord is on those who hope in his steadfast love".
Love endures all things
In the modern world families, churches, and relationships face more and more difficulties and circumstances that might destroy love. Relationships that are built on anything rather than love can be easily broken by the smallest wind. Love described in this passage, on the other hand, can endure any storm, and a crisis would make the relationship stronger.
Love never ends
This point is bigger than any of the qualities described earlier. It goes beyond our earthly life and extends into eternity. True love doesn't end with death, it continues and comes into full force.
This shows us the essence of this Bible passage: this love is impossible for an average person unless he gets it from the Source. All that is described here shows an almost unattainable ideal of love that dwells in the heart of God. The closer we get to Him, the more we become like Him, and the more real the love in our hearts becomes.
«So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.» 1 John 4:16
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